* Once again the show started off with promoter Angus Skaaland in the ring. He talked about the Pride of Texas tournament and how it was coming along, he talked about the Tag Team division and how it was heating up, and he talked about Rich Mahogany and his dastardly tactics involving the Lonestar Television Title. Much to the chagrin of those male wrestling fans in attendance this brought out The Ladies Man himself with the gold strapped around his waist. Once he finally made it into the ring he took a microphone and had this to say:
“Listen up, brother, there’s a little thing called the Champion’s Advantage when it comes to wrestling! Now, is it the Love Machine’s fault that none of your hand-picked challengers can pin these sexy shoulders to the mat for a three count? I didn’t think so!”
Angus replied that Rich’s luck wasn’t going to last him forever, and his little act was getting tired with the LARIAT fans. Rich postured a bit before leaving the ringside area citing that he had the night off. Angus thanked the fans in attendance for showing support to LARIAT and then left the ring himself so the show could get going.
* Texas Heritage Tag League
The Pine Street Posse was out first, both of the former backyard wrestlers had serious looks of trepidation on their faces as they knew that they were about to face two of the biggest, baddest angriest hombres on the entire LARIAT roster in the form of the Hell Riders. While neither team was yet mathematically eliminated from the Tag League, all four participants knew that the loser of this match was pretty well done and the winners would still have to hope and pray for a lot of luck as it pertained to the other teams in the League losing key matches this week and next week.
Once the Hell Riders hit the ring all hell literally broke loose. Apache and Doomsday were in no mood to play and nothing Rod Fantastico or Suicidal Youth could do put a dent in the high powered offense of the Riders. It was over quickly, thankfully, when Apache stuffed SY with a serious powerbomb and held on for the pin.
* After the match the Dirty Rydas stormed onto the interview set where they made fun of Angus Skaaland for being a skinny little honky despite the fact that both Shank Nasty and Gutshot were white themselves. Angus asked the Rydas why they decided to cost the Hell Riders points last week, Gutshot answered like a true thug:
“Sheeeeeeeeeeyit! Dem bitches done crossed up against da wrong set a’ Gangstas! Me’n my nucca Shank, we was sendin’ dem hoes a message ya heard? Jus’ like tonight we gon’ send dem Superior FT hoes a message! An’ next week we gon’ ride out on dem motorcycle-ridin’ beyatches! DUMP DUMP!”
* Pride of Texas Tournament [Round Two]
Last week Dusty Griffith joined forces with Wyatt Bronson in the Flag Match and they were victorious, this week Dusty and Wyatt stood on opposite sides of the ring. The two behemoths shook hands in a show of the friendship that they’d developed since the inception of LARIAT, but as the referee called for the bell you could tell both men had slipped into “business mode” and the fight was going to be on. Dusty took the early advantage as he was clearly the better wrestler of the two, but it didn’t take long for “The Lonestar Lariat” to turn it into a brawl where he more than evenly matched up against Dusty’s power game.
The two big bulls went at it hard and heavy, neither man willing to give an inch. Each of them throwing some of their best shots and barely getting near falls out of it. At the eleven minute mark Rich Mahogany sauntered out to ringside doing his usual shtick of kissing the girls and handing out roses and hotel keys. Wyatt was distracted for a moment, yelling at Rich about being a “yella-bellied bastard,” and when he turned around he’d given Dusty enough time to recover so that when Bronson threw his Lariat, Dusty evaded the blow and hooked him up in a full nelson. Griffith pulled the big man up and over with a monstrous Dragon Suplex and held on for the three count.
Dusty, being the man that he is, immediately checked on his opponent before standing to scald the Lonestar TV champion. Bronson shook the cobwebs out and made his way to his feet before demanding a microphone:
“Ya sonuvabitch! Ya cost me this tournament! I oughta-”
As it turned out, Rich had a microphone of his own:
“Shaddap ya big baby! You’re just pissy because not only can you not get any attention from The Ladies, but you can’t get your big ugly mitts on a title belt here in LARIAT either!”
Angus was goading the big man, and everyone knew it. Inside the ring both Dusty Griffith and Wyatt Bronson were irate and begging Mahogany to come into the ring. From his vantage point at the Interview Station, Angus Skaaland got on his own microphone and put his two cents in:
“You know Rich, I told you that your luck was going to run out, and it just did. Next week, right here at the Wrestle-Plex, you’re going to defend that TV Title against Wyatt Bronson one more time!”
The fans loved it, Wyatt Bronson loved it, and Rich Mahogany’s jaw dropped in abject terror. Apparently The Ladies Man never actually thought he’d have to face the music when he was poking and prodding at the big man over the past couple of weeks. He made his way to Angus and proceeded to beg the promoter to change his mind, to which Angus laughed in his face and told him to get ready to be LARIAT’s first former champion!
* Texas Heritage Tag League
The next match of the evening was the Superior FT taking on the Dirty Rydas. Petey Garrett and Solomon Grendel were in no mood to deal with the shenanigans that Gutshot and Shank Nasty were quickly becoming known for and it showed with their double tope-suicida’s to get the match under way before the bell was rang. The SFT boys had to make up some points due to the last two weeks worth of getting half-points due to circumstances out of their control.
Once inside the ring the Rydas tried slowing things down, and Gutshot beat on Garrett for a couple of minutes before the Hell Riders showed up. The Riders took up positions on either side of the ring and the referee had to try to have eyeballs in the back of his head because he knew exactly what happened last week between the Riders/Rydas. However, the Riders proved not to be a factor in the ending of the match as Garrett and Grendel caught Shank Nasty in the center of the ring with the Black Obsidian Driver, Garrett then sent Gutshot to the floor with a nasty Yakuza kick while Grendel held on for the pin and the five points. As soon as the bell was rang, however, Apache and Doomsday made their move and attacked the Dirty Rydas. They wouldn’t get their revenge though, as the sneaky Dirty Rydas made a quick exit through the crowd before any real damage could be done.
* Texas Heritage Tag League
The OHC were out first with Kazuo Akamatsu leading the way. Before the match started Akamatsu took a microphone to tell those in attendance to watch as the New Violence Express showed Texas, the United States, and that hypocrite Kazuma Fujita who sent them to America for “seasoning” rather than letting them onto the full roster of FURY so that they could show dominance in their home country. The Firebirds were out next to a very solid crowd reaction as they raced into the ring and got things under way with a flurry.
The match was fast paced throughout, with the Firebirds enjoying an early advantage because of their break-neck style of all out aerial offense. The tide turned when Akamatsu climbed onto the apron and distracted Phoenix II, allowing Yutaka Tendo to crotch him on the top turnbuckle and then take the advantage by DDTing him hard off the turnbuckle for a two count. The OHC then went on a very formulaic offensive, cutting the ring in half and tagging in and out quickly to keep the fresh man in and keep the pressure on. After several attempts to tag out to Phoenix I were stopped, Phoenix II _finally_ managed to make the hot tag to his partner who came in and cleaned house, taking the advantage back for his team.
It wasn’t to last, though, as Akamatsu’s continued distraction of the referee would eventually lead to Phoenix I getting dumped outside hard into the railing, and Phoenix II falling victim to a Spanish Fly from the Osaka Hate Crime which led to an easy pinfall.
* Frank Dylan James was at the Interview Station, pacing back and forth. Angus Skaaland knew better than to try and stick a microphone into the angry hillbilly’s face, and as such he was nowhere to be found. Frank had his own though, and his thoughts were simple:
“Lookit these little flippy baysterds, talkin’ all kinds’a shit that ya cain’t even understand! Ah’m gon’ go in thar’n crush that Shakazulu sum’bitch, an’ then Ah’m a gon go whip Dusty Griffith’s big ass next week an’ earn me that perty little Pride a’ Texas title belt!”
The irony of Frank not being able to understand Akamatsu was very likely lost on the Hillbilly Jesus, but everyone found it hilarious. So long as they weren’t within earshot of him…
* Pride of Texas Tournament [Round Two]
Kazuo Akamatsu was in the ring already, his men at his side, and they dared the Mastodon from the Mountains to step into the ring with them. This was a stupid idea, because as anyone who’s followed the career of FDJ could tell you, three-on-one is still good odds in his favor. Frank slid in under the bottom ropes and was immediately attacked by all three men. The referee tried to break it up, but as the bell hadn’t officially been rang there was little to nothing he could actually do.
The one thing that the New Violence Express weren’t counting on was Frank’s love of a good fight. He weathered the storm long enough to get to his bare feet before leveling Tendo and Yahagi with haymakers, sending them rolling to the outside of the ring. The referee called for the bell and the match was on! Akamatsu attempted to get the jump on Frank to no avail whatsoever as the big man from the mountains punched him hard in the face, sending the Japanese stalwart to the mat hard. Frank laid in a series of kicks to the ribs before picking him up and giving him a Bionic Elbow that put Akamatsu on Dream Street early. Frank backed him into the corner and started waylaying him with a repeated punch-chop-punch-chop combo that made even the biggest barfighters in the crowd cringe.
The Redneck Riot continued his assault for several minutes, whipping Akamatsu from pillar to post and just beating him up. To his credit Kazuo took it all and kept coming back for more, but it wasn’t until Tendo and Yahagi hopped onto the apron and caused the referee to be out of position that Akamatsu could take an advantage with a thumb to the eye followed by a very stiff kick to the groin that put Frank on the mat in pain.
Akamatsu took over with a relentless assault, stomping at the bare feet of the bigger man while keeping him wrapped up in every excruciating submission hold that he could muster. Frank screamed in pain and frustration until he managed to push Akamatsu off of him long enough to create some space and go back on the offensive. Once he had Akamatsu back in the corner he barrel-assed his way in for an Avalanche Splash in the corner, but Akamatsu moved at the last second as he also managed to pull the referee into the corner to take the blow. The ref was out, and that was all it took for Mitsuru Yahagi and Yutaka Tendo to jump into the ring and take a two man advantage once again.
Frank took a beating while the referee struggled to recover, and things were looking bad for the Hillbilly Jesus, but then the crowd popped hard as the face of pro wrestling today, Dusty Griffith, sprinted to the ring. Dusty didn’t hesitate, he grabbed Tendo from behind and destroyed him with a release German Suplex! Yahagi saw this and charged, but Dusty evaded a clothesline and absolutely leveled him with a rolling elbow that busted Yahagi open over the right eye and sent him rolling out of the ring. Big Dust rolled Tendo out as well, and then grabbed the referee and tossed him like a sack of potatoes back into the ring.
Frank, knowing better than to look a gift-horse in the mouth, re-took the advantage from Akamatsu with several absolutely brutal headbutts to the Japanese opponent. He then scooped him up, yelled out “SCOOP SCRAM!” before dumping him onto his head on the mat very precariously in what might have been considered a scoop slam in some alternate dimension. Frank ascended the ropes shakily and hopped off, landing with both knees square in Akamatsu’s chest before making the cover. The referee, still mostly out of it, counted a very long three count and awarded the victory to Frank Dylan James.
Frank stood up and glared down the aisle at Dusty, meanwhile Griffith could only smile at helping his former partner out of yet another jam as he backed away making the international sign for a title belt around his waist as he left the ringside area.
07/11/09 @ The Wrestle-Plex [224 fans]
1. Hell Riders def. Pine Street Posse (4:34)
2. Dusty Griffith def. Wyatt Bronson (11:45)
3. Superior FT def. Dirty Rydas (9:12)
4. Osaka Hate Crime def. The Firebirds (14:15)
5. Frank Dylan James def. Kazuo Akamatsu (11:52)
